Blonde By Nature

Goodness I love my Mother. She is one loved loony-tune to be sure, but she certainly has her followers. She has been teaching high school since she was 21 and often I will run into people when visiting my family in Ontario and they say, “aren’t you the daughter of…?” *Sigh* Yes I am. My Papa was also a teacher. My sister, is (get this) a teacher. Oh…and one of my best friends is a teacher. Seems to be a trend here. Anyways, back to my Mother…

One of her favorite holidays (or at least she thought it was a holiday) is Halloween. In elementary school, my brother, sister and I were known as the children who lived in the Haunted House. My Mother, bless her heart, did everything to make our Halloween’s a special occasion. As far as she was concerned, it was time for imagination, creativity and to step out yourself and into someone else scarier. So, the way she expressed her Halloween-goblin was to pull out her skeleton (oh no, not a fake cheesy one…a REAL one), fill jars with brains (spaghetti noodles), coffins (again, real), blue lighting, dry ice, the whole 9 yards. It was common for the Haunted House to lead through the middle of our living room and out the back door. My Father began using the Haunted Houses as an excuse as to why he shouldn’t refinish the hardwood floor, “Well if your Mother would answer doors and give away chocolate like every other normal household, I would be happy to refinish the floor.” That’s Dad!

So as I sit in my tidy little apartment the day before Halloween, with my one carved pumpkin at the kitchen window, I think to myself, LAME-O. My Mother would be very disappointed to hear how I spent Halloween’07. So to get in the mood…I blog about Halloween and share some neat things that I’m going to try to make our Halloween a good one without the haunted house. I also realize that there are others out there who have such fond memories of Halloween and find this year very un-amusing.

So here goes. Here are my 3 top things to get in the mood:

1. PUMPKIN

• Definitely, without a doubt, carve a pumpkin. You are never too old to stick your hand into cold pumpkin gunk and pull out the goo. And just for fun - throw it at your spouse.
• Pull the seeds out and bake’em. Bake’em gooood.
• Can’t forget about the pooch - Scrape out the interior of the pumpkin, toss it into a blender, splash of water, blend it till liquefied and put 1/2 a cup into zip locks. Freeze. Thaw and use this as needed as the best remedy for diarrhea and for loose stools. Also, works great on puppies who get into something that you know is inevitable bad poops.

2. DRESS UP

• If you work in an office as loose as I do, your boss will completely understand your need to come to work wearing Jem and the Holograms makeup. Just do it and have fun with it! One day in a year won’t hurt you.

3. MOOD

• It’s important to set the mood for the evening of Halloween. If you can’t do it for the 75 children who dress up and knock on the door for you, do it for your cat, your dog, your bearded dragon, your spouse or your friends.
  • Watch some old traditional “Halloween” movies and shows: MJ’s Thriller, Jason, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Nightmare on Elm Street, Simpsons Treehouse of Horror.
  • Or if you really want to be scared watch my personal scary movie collection: Fire In The Sky, Signs (I have a phobia of aliens), 28 days later, 28 weeks later *shudder*
  • Create a household rule - no turning on any lights all night. Must do everything in the dark (the mind after watching 28 weeks later is a powerful scare-tool).
  • If you are feeling very adventurous, play a late night prank on a friend who will not expect it (e.g. A really good alien mask works best).
  • For dinner, cook silly black and orange pasta and serve with pumpkin pie and blood red pomegranate juice. Serve in darkness with 1 light candle.

So, my little goblins, have fun with Halloween no matter where you are or who you are with. I’m thinking that I might just swing by the Wolf’s doggie daycare where they are having a K9 Halloween party. Cheesy, yes, but something different and something to remember for years to come!

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